Just what i needed.

“The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hardwork”

In my junior year of college, I was hanging on a thin thread. my grades were horrible, i barely have enough sleep, i dont remember anything that i study.

I had started college feeling a hundred percent sure, this would be my era, that i would breeze through the exams and hardships, and that i would get the one hundred percent confidence to keep me going. For the nth time since third year, i am doubting myself.

All i wanted more than ever was the title PTRP after my name, but my future seems like but  a blur, all im seeing now is failure.

3rd year first sem: the battles we had to face were against gross anatomy and neuroanatomy, which were both very intimidating and as hard as playing a guitar without strings. impossibly hard. All my classmates were on head over heels as worried as me of course, but unlike them, im just not that smart, nor dedicated or motivated. some of my grades went like 20 over 40,55 over 100, to name a few failures.

it wasnt until finals did i get shook up by the reality that i might GET DELAYED FOR ONE WHOLE FREAKING YEAR. which was scary. scary enough for someone whose dream is to graduate as soon as possible and earn for the family, and to save money to travel the world. (my uber dream)

So then and there, i swore to myself, i would never give up, i will do whatever it takes to pass, at least the final and pre final exam, i looked and took every source i could get, two very similar books and my past testpapapers, willing to give one whole day of studying for gross anatomy. Half a day for neuroanatomy, depite the other subjects I should have also studied.

Chanting to myself, every minute i’m conscious “cannot afford to fail, i just can’t afford to fail”

I then realize, It really was a hard battle. i had to fight against time, temptation and laziness.

Sembreak came, everyone was worried about the results of course. And it was that one day when i was procrastinating in front of the computer did our secretary text me that i PASSED gross anatomy and neuroanatomy, i literally jumped infront of my brother and hugged my momma at that moment of pure and utter happiness.Nothing ever felt much more rewarding. than knowing my hard dawns of studying paid off. Inever was sure that the motivation i had was enough for me to do my best. but i guess all my sleepless nights and wading of the tempatation to play tetris battle did pay off.

Now its the second semester and i have even bigger giants to face.Realizing that gross and neuro was just a battletest for the real thing.

As we enter college, we really have no assurance of passing, or failing, it will only be decided when goodluck or badluck catches you at the right time. It will happen you if have come prepared, fully loaded with guns and ammo against whats meeting you in college. at this moment, im worried once again of the results at the end of the sem, for once again, my grades are looking awful. i feel terrible after every time i finish answering a test. But this time, i will know what to do.

I was riding a jeepney to school one day when we stopped right in front of a shopping mall. From the Mall, music  filled the entire street. One of my forgotten favorites came into play and wrapped up my entirety at that moment. The lyrics to the song went like this “Chiquitita,you and i know the sun is shining above you. Let me hear you sing once more, like you did before. sing a new song chiquitita.”

I used to sing ‘chiquitita” by the Abba when i was younger. But it was in that moment, in the jeepney did I realize and appreciate the message and significance of the song. it was just the right amount of nudge of motivation that i needed. i figured that all along, i knew just what to do. i just felt too lazy to do anything.

the song said “try once more, like you did before, sing a new song chiquitita.”

so I’ll do what the song exactly said.  TRY ONCE MORE. hello 2nd sem!